One of my teachers in high school had this ridiculous poster, which I’m sure you’ve all seen in some form or another, on her wall in her classroom. As much as I always worried that this poster and others like it led to the horrible falling deaths of many kittens, it is a pretty apt rendition of my mood for the past week or two. (It’s apt, I tell you, APT! Sorry. Sometimes these Simpson quotes just burst forth from nowhere.)
Between the rain and the more rain, we’ve been slowly slogging (sometimes literally) through the foundation site of our house, currently about 2/3 of the way scraped off. I had hoped by this point, we would be well on our way to getting the stem wall in place, but no such luck.
On top of that, the blog hasn’t exactly caught on as fast as I wanted, and when your top readers are your mom, your husband, and your best friend, it makes you wonder if they’re just being a little biased. Then I found out it actually takes a blog on average two years to gain a following. That was both uplifting and depressing.
So by the time Sunday rolled around, I was feeling pretty down. I felt like I hadn’t accomplished what I wanted. I was starting to wonder if this was ever really going to happen. And I wondered if anyone really cared enough to read about this journey. I didn’t feel like going to church. I just wanted to crawl back in bed and pout.
But I also know those are exactly the times when I need my faith the most. I’m not going to get all preachy with this. When people are down, they have different ways of getting uplifted again. My way is through church. An hour or two of time where I can learn about my spirituality, how God works in my life, and be infused with strength again.
So I headed to church with Casey and Lili. During the singing, I began feeling much better. We have a very upbeat church that focuses on the positive things God is doing in this world and in our lives as individuals. Our staff values the members, and the members value our staff. In other words, #altdurant rocks!
After the singing, we have a minute or two to greet the people around us. Casey and I have severe social anxiety and don’t often feel brave enough to turn to anyone and say hi. But our congregation is warm and open, and that’s never been an issue because so many people say hi or give a quick wave to us.
During that time, a friend who sits a row in front of us usually turned to say hi. I was brooding about my blog and the house still and kind of lost in thought on that, so I just smiled and went back to my internal dialogue (which happens a lot in my brain). Then she asked me, “Hey,how’s your house going? I read your blog every week. I really like it!”
All of a sudden, I was out of my funk. With just a few words, our friend NiCole had changed the entire outlook of my day. Someone reads my blog regularly? And they’re not required to by the code of momhood, husbandhood, or bestfriendhood?
As we chatted for a few minutes, I realized that we had actually made some good accomplishments even on a slow couple weeks. We sourced clayey subsoil from a swimming pool that was put in on the north side of Durant. We found a great deal on a tiller, which once this rain stops again, should in theory help us dig up the site more quickly. We’ve already gotten two loads of dirt to our site. And we sourced some straw to start making test batches to get our mix right.
I know we’re still at the beginning of our cob house journey, and there will be many more discouragements, obstacles, and setbacks along the way, for the house and the blog. But I know that if I just take that time to recharge, if I refocus, and if I fish for compliments from friends and family, I can hang in there. Hopefully better than that poor kitten does. It really looks terrified.
- Tent Pegs $11
- Work Gloves (we got holes in the cheapies we already had) $31
- Tiller $65
Total as of 5/7/15 $107
Yeah, $107. I had to check again on the calculator. I was an English and history teacher, not a math teacher, for good reason.